Letter to Brian: October 2, 2013

October 2, 2013

Dear Brian,

During my recent trip home to Minnesota I went to visit your boys, Maximus and Marcus.  I can’t begin to tell you how much those cats mean to me, dude!  I know how much you loved them and you knew how much I loved them too as you told me in your last letter that you knew I’d do right by them after you were gone.  You should know that they are happy and healthy and very loved by their new family and are living only a few miles away from Mom and Dad!

To me Maximus and Marcus aren’t just cats… they are living, breathing extensions of you, Brian!  And as crazy as it sounds, I feel like they carry a piece of you with them as they were with you in your last moments and watched over you for a week after you died before you were found.  I can’t imagine what those days were like for them– to see you lying there but not able to respond to them.  To anyone that doesn’t believe that animals are loving, feeling beings with souls this probably sounds like a bunch of gibberish… but I’ve never doubted for a moment what amazing creatures they are.

So now I’m going to share something very personal with you that a lot of people would question or reject.  A beautiful soul whom I’d never met did an intuitive reading on Maximus and Marcus for me just before they were moved to their wonderful forever home a year ago after spending almost 2 years with a man who took them in shortly after you passed away.  What she said brought me to absolute tears… in my heart it felt very real and so very true so I want to share with you what she said:

“I checked in with the boys and got some very interesting information.  People may think that their major trauma was being left behind by their dad, but both cats were fully aware that he was going to leave them before it happened.  Although they were upset that no one came for awhile afterward, they knew what he was going to do.  While they were prepared for his passing, they were still pretty angry with him about it.  The three of them were so closely linked energetically (and they still are- they still have access to him, but more on that in a minute).  He broke the contract he had with the cats when he committed suicide.  He just wasn’t strong enough to deal with the reality of life on the physical plane.  He is much happier and freer as spirit energy, even though he is sad to have left those who loved him in pain.   He just kept shaking his head and holding out his hands and saying “I just wasn’t strong enough.”  The cats were supposed to teach him about strength, but they didn’t get the chance.  Maximus is CONVINCED that the reason he was not able to help his Dad was because he was declawed and didn’t have the power to shred the inner demons his dad fought with.  Maximus was certain if he had his claws, things could have turned out differently.  Marcus jumped on that bandwagon too, but more as a follower.  The convictions of Marcus are not as deep, more of a “yeah, what he said” kind of thing.  I worked with both cats to let go of the guilt trip over not being able to do more because of the lack of  claws.

I did a soul retrieval for them and their power came back as we did the retrieval on the claws.  Also, because of the bond shared by the three of them, their hearts were all entangled, and I was able to separate and  retrieve their ability to bond and love and give it back to each of them (Dad included- the entanglement was keeping him tethered, although he was not really “stuck” in the sense of not moving on toward the light, the tethers were keeping him from progressing through his spirit journey- he is now free to do this).  It is a good thing the cats were in a temporary home- they have not really had the ability to bond to a new person fully because their Dad took their love with him when he left.  This was another soul piece that came back to each of them.  Maximus’s love was a beautiful spring green light, and for Marcus, it showed up as magenta.  Your brother’s was a brilliant cobalt blue.  The cats are now both ready to move into a permanent home and bond with and love a new person.  Your brother released them to move on.  There was also some energy around Maximus’ eyesight that came back to him.  I don’t know for sure what that really was, but it was a bright yellow light.  As I was doing the soul retrieval, something kind of unusual happened.  I came back into my body and was not sure how long I had been gone.  I evidently went into the subconscious to do some clearing and healing.  I have no idea what I did, but I came out of it with the sense of things being set right.  I got the image of clearing out cobwebs, and it might have just been really freeing the three of them of their heavy, heavy grief.  Energetically, that grief was fuzzy and gray, like a sweater over everyone’s aura.  The sweater was gone when I came back out of it, so I assume I took care of that somehow= cleared out the gunk.

Messages for Laura- both cats are very, very happy that you are looking out for them.  They trust that you will do the right thing by them and find them the right place.  They are now ready to bond with a new human, as long as they are never separated, they will be fine.  The new bond will take awhile to form, but they have the ability to do it now. 

Your brother  knows he has to come back and try this life as  a human thing again.  He  has been in a kind of limbo of his own choosing.  He is extremely sensitive and just didn’t have a thick enough skin to keep going through this life.  He does want you to know that no one is to blame for what he did- he takes complete responsibility for checking out.  It is so much easier for him to be energy.  He is accessible to you and can hear you when you talk to him, so please don’t stop talking, even if you are mad at him.  He is strong enough to handle anything you can toss his way now- you no longer need to protect him, and he wants to be given the chance to protect you energetically.  He will always be a part of your life.  He has tremendous love for you.”

Every word rang true in my heart and brought me a great deal of peace.  I had been so worried about them with all the changes and trauma they’d been through and it all seemed to work out just as it was supposed to; they were only supposed to stay at that first home for a while until they had healed and were ready to bond with their forever family.  And the way she described their personalities was spot-on… so very much like how they really are and how you often described them to me.

You can rest easy knowing they are doing well and are very happy.  And it feels wonderful that they totally seem to remember me and I still feel very connected to them.

(A VERY special thank you goes out to Kay Anderson of Soul to Soul Connections for providing me with that wonderful reading!  http://soultosoulconnections.com/)

boys 2

I found this video about a year ago… I can only hear your voice in there a few times but I can see your hand as you are petting a very affectionate Marcus.  I watch it over and over just to hear your voice saying, “Kitty, Kitty…”  It might seem so small to others… but to me, it means the world.


5 Responses to “Letter to Brian: October 2, 2013”

  1. Jane Says:

    My wonderful son took his own life six weeks ago. I wanted to let you know that he also had a very much loved cat called Marcus. Marcus was his special friend, so special that he was included in Duncan’s obituary notice. Marcus is also a tabby and closely resembles Maximus and Marcus. I also feel that our Marcus still has a strong link to Duncan. He looks for him every night at the same time (Duncan lived with us).

    Peace to you, Jane


  2. lhabedank Says:

    Jane, thank you for sharing! Maximus and Marcus were also mentioned in Brian’s obituary! They are special little beings and I don’t doubt that Duncan and Marcus are still very much connected. I think that’s why I’m so attached to my brother’s cats– because I believe how very connected they still are to him. I’m so very sorry for your loss– 6 weeks is still so fresh. Please feel free to message me if you ever would like to talk! Sending you healing thoughts and love!


  3. Pam Says:

    I cry at every post you write, but this one had me sobbing. I believe animals have the ability to sense and know things that we cannot understand. I love that you shared the intuitive reading with us!


    • lhabedank Says:

      thank you, pam! i totally believe that they know and sense more than we do and we have so much to learn from them. i’m glad you enjoyed reading it, but sorry for making you cry! 😉


  4. beck Says:

    Thank you for sharing this, Laura. I do believe that Mr. Kitty senses FAR more than I’d ever thought possible and so grateful to have him in my life. These sweet creatures are affected so greatly and they’re fortunate to have a friend like you in their life


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